August 2008
9 posts
10:01am, Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Yesterday we found out Friday would be our last day.
This morning, My Miserable Co-Worker sent me an e-mail with the title, “Unemployment Link.”
10:18am, Monday, August 12, 2008
A woman walks by on the phone.
My Miserable Co-Worker: It’s like a dagger in my ear.
Silence.
9:59am, Friday, August 8, 2008
My Miserable Co-Worker: Great, now the world is supposed to end on September 11. Kinda sucks.
5:10pm, Thursday, August 7, 2008
Silence.
My Miserable Co-Worker: Great, some woman just went to Korea to clone her dog. She had to sell her house to do it. I love my cats but I’m not about to be homeless for them.
My Commendable Co-Worker: What are your cat’s names again?
MMCW: Sascha, Jasmine and BB.
Me: BB?
MMCW: Because it was shot with a BB gun before I found it. The other two are named after...
12:59pm, Thursday, August 7, 2008
Returning to my seat, I catch a wind of a conversation in progress.
My Miserable Co-Worker: I really wish they’d bring the brownies back to the cafeteria. I really liked them.
My Commendable Co-Worker: Write something on the comment card?
Me: The pies are pretty good.
MMCW: Yeah their pies always look good but I can’t be bothered trying to operate them.
Me: I mean, you just...
10:05am, Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Silence.
My Miserable Co-Worker stands up and looks me dead in the face.
MMCR: You know there was a murder in Brooklyn Heights last night, right?
Me: I did. Was it last night?
MMCR: Yeah. Well, no, it was yesterday.
Silence.
MMCR: What does criminality mean?
Me: In what context?
MMCR: The cops said there was criminality. But someone got stabbed 12 times in the bathroom.
Me:...
9:26am, Monday, August 4, 2008
My co-workers are discussing the “best supermarket,” Fairway, which I’d never heard of.
Me: What makes Fairway so great?
My Miserable Co-Worker, disgusted: UM. It’s like a REAL supermarket.
Silence.
2:06pm, Friday, August 1, 2008
Silence.
My Miserable Co-Worker walks to her desk with her phone to her ear.
MMCW: I just don’t see why I’d have to give you my social security number. It’s completely inappropriate.
Silence.
10:04am, Friday, August 1, 2008
My Miserable Co-Worker enters the room. My Commendable Co-Worker and I applaud in jest as if she was Miss America.
My Commendable Co-Worker: How was your party last night?
My Miserable Co-Worker: Oh. We didn’t go. I mean, we went but the douchebag at the door wouldn’t let us in. So I guess we went but we never saw the birthday boy.
Silence.
MMCW: I’m a sweaty...
July 2008
8 posts
11:45am, Thursday, July 31, 2008
Silence except for the running of the copy machine.
My Miserable Co-Worker: Oh my god this sound is driving me crazy. What if I just go and shut the copier off?
Me: You can’t do that, people are doing work. I don’t even hear anything.
MMCW: You don’t understand. I can hear tones no one else can hear. I’m like a dog with a dog whistle.
Silence except for the...
6:42pm, Wednesday, July 30, 2008
My Miserable Co-Worker: Ugh. My best friend from New Jersey who I never see just called me to hang tonight. All I wanna do is go home.
Me: I’m sure once you are having fun it won’t be so bad.
MMCW: Oh right. Did I mention I have 79.00 dollars in my bank account thanks to the MTA wacking me with three charges. Thanks MTA. So yeah, I’m broke too.
1:02pm, Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Silence.
My Miserable Co-Worker: Ya know, I can’t think of a better place to have the Olympics than China. Really good choice.
Silence.
9:49am, Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Silence.
Me: What did you do last night?
My Miserable Co-Worker: That’s a great question. I wish I had an answer for you.
Silence.
My Miserable Co-Worker: Nothing exciting.
Silence.
3:12pm, Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Silence.
My Miserable Co-Worker huffs in anguish.
“Great, now I have to walk to Chinatown on Saturday.”
Pause.
I reluctantly ask, “How come?”
“Because I really love this skin cream and they only have it in Chinatown.”
Silence.
10:44am, Monday, July 28, 2008
Me: Ahhhh. Another Monday and another round of Facebook status messages letting me know how everyone’s weekend was.
My Miserable Co-worker: Oh you mean like who changed their relationship status to single?
Me: Nope. I mean their status messages all say “Blah Blah had a great weekend.” I have five right in front of me!
MMCW: How many people said they had a terrible...
12:56 pm, Thursday, July 24, 2008
My miserable co-worker lets out a huff of frustration and complains that she has been trying to get her pharmacy to switch her drugs to generic to no avail for over 30 days.
Who is my miserable co-worker?
My miserable co-worker sits in front of me for between 11 and 12 hours a day consulting for a prestigious law firm in NYC. She is a 30 year old woman who was raised in West Virginia and has lived in Washington D.C., New Jersey, Maryland and currently, the borough of Queens. My miserable co-worker suffers from a rare stomach disorder. She has claimed to have done acid more than 20 times and her...